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June 25th, 2013

The road has been paved

Good choice of words I think for this entry. Seeing that this is my first entry that i have posted since i finally got my college degree in engineering. Everything leading up to this has been the story of a long journey to success. Now what....? The road is set and the doors of opportunity are plenty. I have been working in my field for 3 weeks now. It's hard to look back on the past and realize where I was working at, the jobs I had and realizing how I will never have to go back to that. I've been meaning to change that picture of me, the picture that i well over 10 years old now. But i kind of like it. I like that fact that it reminds me of where it all began. I time where I knew very little about myself and what i wanted to do or how i was to go about doing it. It was a beginning. A beginning I would never change. Thank god i made it though, and made it through it all. I finally have it! Thank you MSU. Thank you Paula Urban, mom, dad, sister and family. Here's to the future!

July 16th, 2012

There are times in life where you are presented with options. you don't know the outcome, and sometimes you don't even know what is right and what is wrong. There are many different paths you can take, people you can meet, mistakes you can make, but it's all part of life. There is a beginning and an end to all of us, and what we do in between is up to us. Don't be scared to make a mistake, cause that way you learn. Don't be afraid to do what is right, because the good people that should be in your life will respect you for it. Don't be scared to try something new, because maybe it'll bring a side of you that you never thought could come out. This trip has taught me a lot. The people in this group have been some of the greatest people i've ever met in my life. Here is tonight... and whatever new decisions come out of it. Only the right ones :)

June 16th, 2012

Look at the positives

The future is always unclear. But what is always clear is the moment. You can look at everything around you and know that it is there, and in that moment it isn't going any place else. So why not enjoy it? Plan for the future, set goals, and make smart decisions, then balance that with living in the moment. Nobody knows what tomorrow is going to bring, so why not enjoy the now. The future is going to happen one way or the other, and until then we may as well enjoy the good things in our lives.

May 26th, 2012

There is only so much you can do to help others before they start to wear you down. They probably don't mean to, but they will. My theory has become this... Don't try and fix something that may not be broken. If people are comfortable in their lives then leave them alone. If people are showing signs up help, then see what you can do. Give it a couple to tries. But if doesn't work after that, go about your life. The most important person in your life should be yourself. Now that doesn't mean there shouldn't be times you put others ahead of yourself. Those times will always be around the corner, but you need to know when to do it, and who to do it with. Ultimately the person you look out for the most though is you. I think today I'm using this advice to avoid anymore annoyances in my life. Time to surround myself with people I want to put ahead of myself.

May 20th, 2012

This has to be one of the best sundays ever. The morning was wonderful, weather is nice. Nothing really to do other than find things to keep myself busy. I think i'll throw on a baseball game and pass out after the gym. Stress level = 0

May 19th, 2012

Today i looked back on some of the greatest years of my life, the ones where i was younger and at the hight of my soccer career. The funny thing is though I wasn't thinking about the winning, the trophies or the goals. I thought about what it was like to lose. I remembered the feeling i had to walk off the field after being beaten in the last game of the season. Truth of it is though, would I have given up all the fun i had for all those loses i experienced. I think life experiences work the same way. You work hard to make the team, after that you work hard to play on the field, and finally you work hard to become a factor on the team. However not every day is going to be a victory. Lately I've come to terms with the "losing" of life. It happens. It happens when you don't want it to and sometimes it happens so hard that you feel like giving up. But that should never take away from the fact that you've made it as far as you have. Keep playing and eventually you'll get to that place where you feel like you've accomplished enough. And if you don't reach it, you push harder for more. Too many opportunities are out there to just give up. so yeah..... why am i writing this? and why now??? i guess i feel as though it's better to post random thoughts on here then it ever is to philosophize this to someone randomly. Not saying that I don't feel like i can, but finding the segway into it and then having them sit and listen to it is too long of a process for me :). I even since the last post on here i look at life even more differently now. I've grown up a lot being single. A LOT!!!! and it's been great! I've needed this for probably the past 10 years of my life. The years i chose not to be single. The years I went searching for "the one". The more i searched the more I found myself learning, and learning in a good way. And now that i've educated myself in that way, I've decided to educate myself in a different way, a way that is completely opposite of what i've been doing. So what is left after this???? I think i know. But that's for me to know, and not to post on here. Funny thing is if i actually do read back through this at some point i'll know just what i'm talking about. But with that said, I think i can say "hopefully soon!". More time is what i need at this point, and there are great opportunities coming up where i'll have that. I'm more aware than ever about myself now. The long journey has been worth it, and not only have i been fixing myself but i've also felt like i've been able to help others a lot better too. Each day that goes by, i become more comfortable and aware of who i am.

November 4th, 2011

I think I know which way to go. But why do I quesion it? I have met an amazing girl that takes care of me and wants to support me in everyway possible. I have an ex that I haven't been able to get over and would be taking a huge risk with if I decided to go back to. and then there is just plain school. When I look back at this entry, I wonder if i'll be kicking myself for not choosing a different path.

October 24th, 2011

Took a huge hit on an ECON test today. This semester was suppose to be the one to turn everything around. I guess that's what I said last semester and the semester before that too. Again I am at the point in my life where I want to quit. I lost my job this month and now grades aren't going well even though i thought I did really well on this test. Look at me... The age I am at with nothing to show for it anymore. I had the support too of someone who cared about me. Life is going down hill fast. I hope the next time i post in this thing I will be able to look back on this entry and describe how well things have gotten. We will see

November 3rd, 2010

my final downfall?

So this might be it. This is the worst semister i have ever had. Concentration is gone, and my grades are getting worse. What has happened. It seems as though my search for happiness has overcome me and the drive to not be hurt anymore has destroyed my concentration on this school year. This very well could be my end. I worked so hard to get to where I am at and feel as though I have pissed away an entire semester. Is this worth it to you matt? whatever happened to that drive you had, the one that motivated others to be like you and strive for something better then what they had. The one where people looked up to you? it is a new day today... time to put down the books and fall into sleep. i place where i can't be hurt. I place where i can rethink what has happened and hopefully wake up a different person. concentration is key right now. It's not over and I will not go down without a fight on my hands. there is still a little bit of time left and it is up to me what i do with it. I've worked too hard! nothing can be changed from the past.... time to move forward with life. Where is forward taking me? i guess that is up to me now isn't it?

May 6th, 2010

Begin the summer of 2010

it's 5:30am and i can't sleep. Of course I know why. I tried to call her about my grades that i know i got and she's out at the bar. whatever.... It's hard to let go of something that has been good, and when you get older you begin to hate having to start over again and again, because you're in that stage in your life where moving onward in just the game plan. So what now??? Well i guess it's time to start over. Will i regret this decision? i guess in the long run no. Today at work my friend Amanda came in and waited for me so i could help her with her Blackberry. Amanda is one of those girls that makes every guy look. But for me, why am i so picky? I think she's great but maybe not for me... maybe i need to give people a chance. I need someone around my age. Who has gone through a little more, maybe... Or maybe the youngness of someone who can learn from what i've done is good too. So enter the summer of 2010. Who will i meet this summer??? It should be interesting and I am actually excited for it to happen. The summer i mean. For the first time I will be up in lansing by myself. And it is going to be wonderful. Oh by the way, classes went well too for the most part! Ok world, come get me, I am ready this time!!!
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